i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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