their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
