I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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