Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
