Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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