Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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