Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
