she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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