You made me cry and you don't even care
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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