You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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