if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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