So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize