So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
