You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
