There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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