there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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