I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize