wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
