eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
