I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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