the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
