The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
