I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just gift wrapped bread.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
