First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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