Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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