You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So squirting runs in the family.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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