he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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