i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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