Me. At least after what I've been through.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
