at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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