Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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