he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
