Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
