Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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