i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
