Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
