I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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