o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
