I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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