I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
