All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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