She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just had sex bonerless
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
