just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
