So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
