I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
wow bdsm is so cute
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize