he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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