Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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