hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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