Plan B is the new Plan A
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
