Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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