"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
