And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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