Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize