Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
