I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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