ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
