They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize