he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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