Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize