If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
