Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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