I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
