At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
