i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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