i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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