She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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