New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
